The excitement of the show brought me back to a project I did a few months ago to get used to writing in script format and to give me a break from my more serious projects. "Walks Like a Sniff, Talks Like a Sniff" is a fanfiction episode script meant to go right after episode six in season one of "Epic Heroes." It's the first of a two episode arc and I decided to share it with the entire internet :D
***WARNING*** THIS IS A FANFICTION. IT'S IN NO WAY OFFICIAL, APPROVED BY THE CREW OF "EPIC HEROES" OR CANON. That being said, it was meant to go after episode six, so not only will you have to have some working knowledge of the "Epic Heroes" universe to understand everything going on, there are some SPOILERS in the story for the sixth episode. Read at your own risk ;) ***END WARNING***
If you want to catch up on the first six episodes, check out the "Epic Heroes" Youtube!
Also, please note that this was just a fun project for me. I didn't do a ton of editing or a table read or anything. It's all just good fun. Don't judge me :D
“Walks Like a Sniff, Talks Like a Sniff…”
FANFICTION
By Launa Sorensen
SCENE 0: COLD OPEN
INT. ABANDONED HOUSE -- NIGHT
FORGE makes her way alone through an abandoned house, a flashlight in her hand. The place is trashed with obvious signs of partying. Graffiti covers the walls. Windows and doors are broken. Forge is un-amused.
Forge points her EMF detector at an acorn. Nothing happens. Forge sniffs and grunts.
FORGE
When I was called in by a real estate agent I assumed the house would be livable. I would think fixing holes in the walls would take precedence over a rumor about ghost squirrels.
Forge explores the house. She sniffs a few times. The vibe is dark and creepy.
FORGE
Unless the sniff vacations in a dumpster, there’s nothing here.
Forge’s phone goes off. It’s on vibrate. It’s Maxo.
Forge hesitates, then cancels the call. She looks guilty.
Forge continues looking around the house. She turns toward a window with her flashlight.
A teenage girl is suddenly standing outside the window in the yard. We will learn this is MARIA. She’s wearing jeans and a sweater. She’s looking directly at Forge. She’s serious and unblinking.
Forge leans further out the window and sniffs. She’s obviously surprised.
FORGE
Hello?
Maria looks at Forge a moment longer, then disappears.
Forge looks down at her EMF detector. It doesn’t go off. Forge sniffs. She looks back out the window.
FORGE
Question: What looks like a sniff, disappears like a sniff, but doesn’t smell like a sniff?
SCENE 1: TITLE SEQUENCE
Standard title sequence from Season 1 plays.
SCENE 2
EXT. SLEW -- DAY
Forge leans against a bridge railing, staring out at the slew. She’s deep in thought.
Forge’s phone goes off. It’s Maxo. Forge answers. We can’t hear Maxo’s side of the conversation.
FORGE
Hey Maxo. Yeah, I got it, I was in the middle of an investigation. No… no, I didn’t find anything. I’ll see you soon? Yeah. Yeah, we can make voices. See you.
Forge hangs up. She sighs.
FORGE
Maxo heard about my case. He knows I should have taken him with me. His Chihuahua morph would have found any ghostly rodentia in an instant. Plus he’s been obsessed with the idea of phantom squirrels since the conservatory investigation.
Forge walks away from the bridge toward the water. She kicks at the rocks as she walks along the bank.
FORGE
But I didn’t want Maxo with me.
Flashback of the fight with the bunny. Maxo getting knocked down. The bunny escaping.
FORGE
I always knew there was more to Sniffs than what I‘d found in past investigations. I didn’t bat an eye when Peter told me about the existence of monster dimensions. I wasn’t even surprised when I was kidnapped. But I didn’t think the monsters would attack my brother.
Forge stops and looks down at the water. She sees her reflection.
FORGE
I don’t know what that girl was. I’ve never sniffed anything like her before. She was a surprise and I don’t want to be surprised again.
SCENE 3: THE BRIEFING
INT. MAXO’S ROOM -- DAY
Forge and MAXO sit on Maxo’s bed ad-libbing a voice game centered around Baby Squirrel. Maxo is in his squirrel morph. They’re both happy.
SCENE 4
INT. MAXO’S ROOM -- NIGHT
Maxo has fallen asleep. He’s still in squirrel morph.
Forge knocks his books and toys aside and pulls his feet up onto the bed. She covers him with a blanket. She looks down at him in silence.
SCENE 5
INT. FORGE’S FRONT HALLWAY -- NIGHT
Forge creeps down the stairs in burglar gear. She has her bag of holding.
MAXAMILLIAN steps out of the darkness of the kitchen. He’s holding a mug of tea, his ipad under his arm.
MAXAMILLIAN
Mother would have a myocardial infraction if she knew you were sneaking out.
FORGE
She would if she knew the damage to your floorboards was caused by a kraken under your bed, too.
MAXAMILLIAN
Your threat is useless. I moved him into the koi pond in the back yard.
Forge turns to the door.
FORGE
Whatever.
MAXAMILLIAN
Forge…
Maxamillian‘s demeanor changes, betraying his worry. Forge softens as well.
FORGE
I promise to be careful. I won’t go missing again.
Maxamillian regains arrogance. He talks while he walks up the stairs.
MAXAMILLIAN
Well, personally I don’t care where you go. You can’t keep me awake with your insufferable snoring when you’re gone.
Forge
(whispering after him)
I don’t snore!
SCENE 6
EXT. ABANDONED HOUSE -- NIGHT
Forge rolls up to the house on her scooter. She puts it back in her bag and starts investigating the grounds.
Forge reaches the front door and pauses. Maria is standing in the doorway wearing the same outfit from before. Forge shines the light right at her and sniffs.
FORGE
Well, the light doesn’t go through you. Who are you?
Maria glances away. She looks sad and anxious.
FORGE
Do you need help?
Maria looks back at Forge. She’s suddenly wearing a hospital gown. A moment later she changes back.
FORGE
Were you a patient somewhere?
Maria walks away from the house and directly through Forge. She turns and beckons Forge, who follows cautiously. Not far from the house, Maria pauses, looks to the side as if hearing something we can‘t, looks at Forge and disappears.
Forge stares at where Maria disappeared for a moment.
FORGE
I’m on the case.
SCENE 7: THE ASSISTANT
Forge sits on her front porch writing in a notebook. She glances at the driveway expectantly.
FORGE (V.O.)
I spent all day looking for information on sniffs that wouldn’t smell like sniffs. But all I’ve got is a girl in a hospital gown and an abandoned house.
Forge pulls Marian’s assistant sheet out of her bag.
FORGE (V.O.)
I need public records. Inside information. I know just the assistant to call.
Marian (V.O.)
Marian Praafectus Tabularii. Age: 32. Height: 67 inches. Weight: 145 pounds. Strength: 3. Dexterity: 6. Endurance: 5. Intelligence: 9. Charisma: 5. Faith: 7. Skills: Master librarian. Exploring. Photography. Annoying Maxamillian. Quirks: Hyper-observative. Class A hoarder. Idolizes British librarians and super hero reporters. Weaknesses: Can’t see without her glasses. Riddles. Tweed.
FORGE (V.O.)
Marian manages an enormous secret library somewhere under the Forest Primeval. She collects everything: books, newspapers, artifacts… it’s like a 3D wiki. If there are records about the abandoned house, Marian will have them.
Maxo exits the house and sits next to Forge.
MAXO
Is she here yet?
FORGE
She wouldn’t leave without saying hi.
Maxo shifts uncomfortably.
MAXO
Forge… can I go with you? I might be able to help.
Forge opens her mouth to respond, looking guilty, but a car pulls into the driveway before she can speak.
Marian steps out. She looks like a preppy librarian, complete with fitted tweed jacket, equestrian boots and a pair of glasses on a beaded chain. She also wears a tweed newsboy cap and carries a large camera case.
Marian
Hi Forge. Maxo.
MAXO
Hi Marian. Do you have the books?
Marian pulls a stack of books out of her car. Maxo runs to the car and talks to Marian. Forge can’t hear them.
FORGE
I bet Maxo traded her video files of my investigations for the books. She’s been hounding me to narrate my experiences for her collection. As much as I love the sound of my voice, I’m saving that trade for when I need something really useful.
Marian and Maxo walk toward Forge as Maxamillian exits the house.
MAXAMILLIAN
Marian, I have a business proposition for you.
MARIAN
I’m not giving you access to my records.
MAXAMILLIAN
I don’t need to see all of them. Just a few of the celebrity variety.
MARIAN
My archive is for information, not exploitation.
MAXAMILLIAN
I’d give you exclusive access to my forthcoming autobiography. It will be very valuable when I become Supreme Ruler of All.
MARIAN
I’m a librarian. Not TMZ.
Maxamillian scowls and points to Maxo.
MAXAMILLIAN
You let Maxo see your records and he‘s a hacker.
MAXO
I respect celebrity privacy.
MARIAN
He’s also very handsome. And he pays all his library fines.
Maxamillian is indignant.
MAXAMILLIAN
We look exactly the same.
MARIAN
Maybe on the outside.
Maxamillian huffs and turns away.
MAXAMILLIAN
Fine. I don’t even need your help. Digital will destroy paper soon anyway.
Maxamillian retreats back into the house.
MARIAN
He should have offered me time to study his kraken.
MAXO
I can get you an exclusive.
FORGE
That filthy kraken can wait. I need information now.
Marian pulls two blindfolds out of her camera case.
MARIAN
Let’s go.
FORGE
You can trust us. We don’t need to be blindfolded anymore.
MARIAN
Nobody knows how to enter my library but me and I intend to keep it that way.
Maxo grabs a blindfold and looks anxiously at Forge.
FORGE
Fine.
Maxo smiles and runs to the car. Forge talks softly to Marian.
FORGE
I don’t want Maxo involved in this case. It could be dangerous.
MARIAN
Have you thought of just talking to him? He saved you, Forge. He entered monster dimensions and battled krakens and faced down an epic evil to save you. Maybe you should give him more credit. He’s strong.
FORGE
I know he’s strong. But he shouldn’t have to face these things. I’m here. It’s my job to find the sniffs. I don’t want him getting hurt.
Marian reads Forge’s face, hesitating before answering.
MARIAN
I recently received a collection of zoological texts. He’ll be so busy learning new morphs you should have some privacy. But I still think you should talk to him.
Forge grabs her blindfold.
FORGE
Perfect.
SCENE 8: THE SNIFF
INT. SECRET LIBRARY -- DAY
Forge sits at a large table covered in books and newspapers. She’s surrounded by shelves overflowing with books, scrolls, and artifacts.
Maxo is nearby, sitting in a nest of open books. He’s regularly morphing into new animals as he reads to himself.
Marian approaches Forge and lays a collection of pictures of the abandoned house in front of her.
MARIAN
I went to the address you gave me. I don’t see any paranormal activity, but you’re the expert. I did find a jello recipe from the 1980s behind the refrigerator. I now have the largest collection of jello paraphernalia in the western hemisphere.
Forge looks through the pictures as Marian talks, barely paying attention. She huffs and tosses them back on the table.
FORGE
Nothing. And the real estate records show that the house has never been used as anything where people would wear hospital gowns. No one died on the grounds. In fact, there are no records of a young girl ever living there.
MARIAN
Maybe she has some other bond to the place. Spirits don’t always haunt where they lived.
Forge thinks.
FORGE
Maybe. Would you come back to the house with me? I want to do a little more foot work.
Marian smiles and holds up her camera.
MARIAN
I love a good, old-fashioned investigation.
Forge walks to Maxo.
FORGE
How’s your new arsenal of morphs?
MAXO
Growing. I’ll be ready for whatever you need, Forge.
FORGE
Good. Hey Maxo? Marian and I will be right back. We’re… we’re going to one of the back rooms to look up something. You okay here?
Maxo continues reading.
MAXO
Marian’s making jigglers.
Forge relaxes a bit.
FORGE
Save me a tiki jiggler?
MAXO
Sure.
Forge returns to Marian.
FORGE
Let’s go.
SCENE 9
INT. SECRET LIBRARY -- DAY
Marian and Forge reach the end of the library. Marian hands Forge a blindfold, but as Forge is putting it on she sees a flash of something running near the stacks. Forge puts the blindfold aside.
FORGE
There’s something there.
Forge walks toward where she saw the movement.
MARIAN
Impossible. No one can get in without me.
Forge sees the movement again and continues tracking it through the stacks.
FORGE
Everything’s impossible until someone does it.
MARIAN
I’ve studied the camouflaging techniques of the Aztecs. The mazes of Greece And Egypt. The underground temples and cities in Europe and China. I even know what makes your right shoe and your car keys disappear. It’s impossible to sneak in here.
Forge freezes. Marian nearly runs into her. Maria stands in front of them.
FORGE
Not if you don‘t have a body.
Maria smiles, her hands in her pockets.
MARIAN
If she can get in here, then she’s not tied to the house.
FORGE (to Maria)
I wasted a whole day researching that house. It doesn’t even matter, does it?
Maria smiles wider and shakes her head.
FORGE
That’s extremely annoying.
MARIAN
Who are you? This is my library and I demand an answer.
Maria looks questioningly and a bit defiantly at Marian. She then looks at Forge.
FORGE
You aren’t bound to answer her questions, then. What are you? You’re not a ghost, are you?
Maria looks down and her clothes flash back into the hospital gown.
Marian raises her camera and snaps a picture.
MARIAN
Can you talk at all?
Maria looks up almost sadly and shakes her head.
FORGE
Even more annoying.
Marian snaps another picture.
MARIAN
What about other forms of communication. Can you send messages telepathically?
Maria gives Marian an annoyed look.
FORGE
Marian, I don’t think she likes being interviewed.
MARIAN
Did she tell you that telepathically?
FORGE
No. I make that face when Maxamillian won’t shut up about tie couture.
Maria looks over her shoulder.
MARIAN
Do you hear something?
FORGE
Shh.
Maria looks back at Forge.
FORGE
What do you want?
Maria beckons Forge forward. Forge takes a few steps toward her. Maria disappears.
Forge huffs.
Marian puts her camera back in her camera bag. She’s serious.
MARIAN
I wish she’d told us what she wanted.
FORGE
She did. She wants me to find her.
MARIAN
Do you think she was being followed? She kept looking over her shoulder.
FORGE
I don’t know. I don’t like not knowing.
MARIAN
Then you came to the right place. Nothing cures ignorance like a library.
SCENE 10
INT. SECRET LIBRARY -- DAY
Marian and Forge are back at the table near Maxo. Maxo is still reading and eating a jello jiggler.
MARIAN
Okay. Facts. We know she’s not a ghost and she’s not tied to the house.
FORGE
Which means it’s me. She’s following me.
MARIAN
She probably needs your help.
FORGE
Or she’s a trap.
Marian sits next to Forge and leans in closer to her.
MARIAN
Forge, are you okay? I’ve never seen you quite so withdrawn.
FORGE
You missed my emo phase. It involved dancing skeletons.
MARIAN
I’m serious. You’re brilliant. One of the bright stars of your time. That always comes with fear and loneliness.
FORGE
I’ve already had this conversation.
MARIAN
Not post-bunny.
Forge sighs and glances back at Maxo.
FORGE
I just don’t want him to get hurt. I don’t want to go after this girl until I know what she is.
MARIAN
Knowledge is power. But you’ll always have to face the unexpected.
FORGE
I hate the unexpected.
MARIAN
The unexpected can be wonderful.
FORGE
Or a nightmare.
MARIAN
You’ll never know until it happens. Better to meet it head on.
Forge gathers her courage and takes a deep breath.
FORGE
We know she probably can’t communicate vocally. And there’s something important about her hospital gown.
Marian smiles and sits back.
MARIAN
Maybe that’s where we should start, then. Hospitals. There’s only one nearby.
Forge thinks.
FORGE
She’s not old. She was wearing Seven jeans. That company opened in 2000.
MARIAN
I have copies of most of the medical records since the hospital‘s founding. I’m missing the last couple years, but hopefully we’ll find what we need.
FORGE
You have copies of personal medical records? Isn’t that illegal?
MARIAN
It’s for education. Think of it as an archeological dig done a century in advance.
Forge smiles.
FORGE
You’re a thief.
MARIAN
I’m a librarian.
FORGE
I’m still adding “theft” to your skills section.
SCENE 11
INT. SECRET LIBRARY -- DAY
Marian carries in another box of files, placing it on top of a large stack. Forge is looking through a folder. She continues going through files while she talks.
MARIAN
I organized information by the patient. If there were newspaper articles, yearbook photos, anything about the subject, I put them in the folder.
FORGE
How do you have the time to do all of this?
MARIAN
Oompa Loompas, clones, magic elves.
FORGE
Fine, keep your secrets.
Marian winks.
Maxo laughs and holds up a book he’s reading.
MAXO
Hey look! He’s like me.
Forge puts down the folder and walks to her brother. The book depicts a Navajo skin-walker.
Marian crouches down beside him.
MAXO
(addressing Marian)
It’s about spiritual powers in different Native American tribes.
FORGE
That’s great, Maxo.
Marian looks thoughtful. She stands up slowly.
MARIAN
Forge? You might have to take a point out of my “intelligence” column.
Marian races back into the library and returns with a book. She flips through it quickly and hands it to Forge.
FORGE
Astral projection?
Marian removes a box and searches through it.
MARIAN
It’s the ability to separate your spirit from your body. It’s why you couldn’t sniff her like a ghost.
Marian pulls out a file, looks through it and smiles. She hands it to Forge. Forge pulls out a newspaper clipping. Maria is in the picture, lying in a hospital bed.
FORGE
That’s her.
MARIAN
Keep reading.
Forge reviews the file.
FORGE
Her name is Maria. She was in an accident a few years ago that left her a quadriplegic. But…
MARIAN
Yes.
Forge looks up in surprise.
FORGE
She’s still alive.
SCENE 12
EXT. HOSPITAL -- DAY
Forge stands in front of the hospital. Marian stands next to her.
FORGE (V.O.)
I sent Maxo home. He didn’t fight too hard to come with me. He doesn’t like hospitals. Neither of us do.
MARIAN
She’s on the fourth floor. She practically lives here.
Forge doesn’t respond, just continues to look up at the hospital.
MARIAN
You okay?
FORGE
Yeah.
MARIAN
I’m here with you, you know.
FORGE
That’s what worries me.
Forge walks into the hospital.
SCENE 13
INT. HOSPITAL -- MARIA’S ROOM -- DAY
Forge and Marian enter Maria’s room. Maria is lying in bed asleep. Forge walks right up to her. She looks around. She sniffs.
FORGE
Maria.
Maria stays asleep.
FORGE
(Shouting louder)
Maria!
Maria gasps and wakes up. She turns to Forge in surprise.
MARIA
It’s you.
FORGE
Glad to see you found your voice.
Maria smiles.
MARIA
I knew you’d find me.
FORGE
Why were you following me?
MARIA
How much do you know about me?
FORGE
I know you can astral project. I know you wanted me to find you.
MARIA nods.
MARIA
I’ve been able to leave my body since the accident. I can’t move anything below my neck, but I guess my soul was restless. As long as I’m asleep I can go anywhere I want. Anywhere in this world… and others.
Forge gets suspicious.
FORGE
I’ve had bad experiences with other worlds.
MARIA
You’ve had good ones, too. You’re famous all over the monster dimensions. A hero. You and your brother sent the bunny away. You put the souls of entire worlds to rest. You’re a legend.
FORGE
So what, you spirit-stalked me for an autograph?
MARIAN
Forge. She’s being sincere.
Forge huffs and tries to mellow out.
FORGE
Fine. But if you know about the Bunny, then you know I’m a bit uptight about being followed.
MARIA
I understand and I’m sorry. But as you can see, I didn’t have a lot of ways to reach you.
FORGE
Do you need help?
MARIA
I didn’t bring you here for me. My ability to travel freely and without fear of physical injury in the other worlds lends to some interesting job opportunities. You’re not the only one who can make a successful business out of her powers.
FORGE
What do you mean?
MARIA
I was hired to find you by a client in a monster dimension. I’ve got a job for you, Ghost Sniffer.
SCENE 14: THE SCENT
INT. Forge’s OFFICE -- DAY
Forge sits at her desk, filling out an investigation report.
FORGE (V.O.)
I didn’t give Maria an answer. Marian thinks she’s sincere, but Marian’s biased. She wants an interview. And maybe a junior investigator.
The whiteboard on Forge’s wall reads “Never trust a librarian.“
Forge finishes the report and labels it “Scented. Kind of.”
FORGE (V.O.)
Still, this investigation would get me into a monster dimension. And nothing says “facing your fears head on“ like showing up on the unknown‘s doorstep.
Forge looks up at Maxo‘s empty bed.
FORGE (V.O.)
Maxo wasn’t afraid to walk into a monster café for me.
Forge opens the chest near her desk where Maxo got his Rainy Day warrior costume in episode six. She pulls out the umbrella.
FORGE (V.O.)
Time to go back on offense.
Forge stands.
FORGE
Maria!
Maria’s astral form appears in Forge’s room.
FORGE
I get paid in USD. Not monster cash.
Maria smiles.
FORGE
What’s the sniff?
SCENE 15: FIRST HALF OF END CREDITS
SCENE 16: EPILOGUE
Marian sits on the couch, filming the kraken, who is sitting in front of her. We see the kraken through the lens of Marian’s camera.
MARIAN
(Off Camera)
So you originate from the depths of the pacific, but made your way into the Puget Sound under direction of the Bunny to capture Forge?
KRAKEN
Uh huh.
MARIAN
(Off Camera)
How does that make you feel now that you’re free of the Bunny’s thrall?
The kraken bows its head.
KRAKEN
Bad.
MARIAN
(Off Camera)
Fascinating. You have a way with words.
Forge stomps into view. She pushes the kraken to the ground.
FORGE
Off the couch!
MARIAN
Forge, you have an upcoming investigation in another world. Do you think you’ll find it in your heart to forgive the kraken before your journey?
Forge is still cranky from interaction with the kraken. She scowls and walks away.
FORGE
No more tuba!
Maxo peers out of the kitchen.
MAXO
Where’s Forge going?
Marian sighs off camera. The camera shakes a bit as she puts it down.
MARIAN
(Off Camera)
Come on, Maxo. Let’s talk.
Cut to black.
SCENE 17: FINISH END CREDITS
